My Top 15 Favorite Films of 2019 (plus 15 runners-up)

"It was the end of a decade / But the start of an age..."
-- Taylor Swift

2019 was a very emotional year for me. I spent my last two quarters of college making films and honing my voice as a filmmaker, I graduated summa cum laude from DePaul University with a degree in Film & Television, I had a fantastic summer working as a Video Counselor at an amazing summer camp in Maine, and I began collecting my first film industry paychecks doing day gigs on film sets in Chicago. And on top of all of that, I saw a lot of really, really great movies this year. Granted, because of my summer camp job and the fact that I moved back home to Crown Point, Indiana after living in Chicago for four years, I didn't get to see as many films as I have in recent years, but a lot of the ones I did see were really powerful films from unique, diverse voices, the kind that are all too often sidelined by multiplexes and the moviegoing public in favor of billion dollar "theme park films," to quote a certain Mr. Scorsese. And while I did have a hard time ranking some of these films, I do feel like this is a very strong top 15 that represents both the diversity of films that spoke to me this year, as well as the different ways that said films spoke to me.

Before I get into my top 15, here's a list of 10 films from 2019 that I have NOT yet seen but definitely want to as soon as possible:

Honey Boy
A Hidden Life
The Souvenir
Ad Astra
Climax
Apollo 11
Richard Jewell
The Lighthouse
I Lost My Body
The Last Black Man in San Francisco

Now as I say every year now, these 15 films I'm about to list (and the order in which I list them) may not be what some would consider the BEST films of 2019; but rather, they are my personal FAVORITE films that, for one reason or another, impacted me as a student of film and as an aspiring filmmaker and that, in my opinion, speak in some way to the broader world we all live in. So, without further ado, here are my top 15 favorite films of 2019 from 15 to 1:

#15. The Farewell -- One of the most unabashed crowd-pleasers of the year, this is a really special, deeply personal film for its creator that succeeds in telling its very specific story in a way that is universally relatable. I've seen this film twice now, the first time at the Chicago Critics Film Festival back in May, though it wasn't until the second time that it really hit home for me. For those who don't know me too well, I lost my grandmother to cancer almost two years ago now, and watching how the family in this film attempted to enjoy their final days with their matriarch reminded me of how, in different ways, my family attempted to keep things as normal as possible in the last month of my grandmother's life, including having her fill out an Oscar ballot for our family pool. So while this film is definitely informative in terms of showing how this specific culture deals with death and grief when it comes to family, it also is a great, much-needed reminder that we aren't all that different from one another. Anyone who's ever had to deal with the loss (or impending loss) of an older family member will be able to relate to this story. But far from being a depressing story about grief and death, The Farewell is also one of the heartwarming films I've seen this year. The family dinner scenes, the family's numerous interactions with Nai Nai, the grandmother and matriarch at the center of the story (played exquisitely and hilariously by Zhao Shuzhen, who absolutely deserves a Best Supporting Actress nomination), as well as the granddaughter Billi's internal struggle with the Eastern and Western cultures she's torn between, are all portrayed with such warmth, grace, and humor that it made me wish the film was a full hour longer just so I could spend more time with this family. So yes, I adore this movie, and I honestly cannot see why anyone wouldn't like it, so please do yourself a favor and see this immediately if you haven't already.

#14. Luce -- Speaking of films that I first saw back in May at the Chicago Critics Film Festival, here's one that completely took me my surprise and knocked for a loop when I first saw it there. I had not read anything about this film before going to see it on closing night, and that is definitely the best way to watch it. All I'll say here is that, of the many films that have come out in the last few years that deal with race, this is easily the most nuanced, insightful, and deeply intelligent of the bunch. The screenplay, co-written by director Julius Onah and JC Lee (and adapted from a 2013 stage play by Lee), is one of the best of the year in the way it slowly builds tension, constantly subverts the audience's expectations at nearly every turn, and ultimately leaves the audience with no easy answers. The performances by all four leads are great, but Kelvin Harrison Jr. and Octavia Spencer in particular are absolutely phenomenal. The range that Harrison Jr. displays in his performance is near-breathtaking without ever feeling showy, and Spencer continues to be one of our greatest working actresses, portraying a concerned teacher dealing with her own inner turmoil in a way that's quietly powerful. I really hope more people discover this film (it doesn't appear to be streaming anywhere unfortunately), if only because of the conversations and debates that it's sure to stir up. And I personally can't wait to hear (and participate in) some of those conversations and debates.

#13. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood -- This is now the second year in a row that a film about Fred Rogers has made my top 15 (Morgan Neville's beautiful documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor? was #4 on my list last year), and while Marielle Heller's narrative film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood isn't quite as powerful as Neville's documentary was, it is still a great film in its own right, mainly because of how it takes a completely different approach to Rogers than the documentary did. Rather than doing a straight-up biopic about his life and career, Heller instead chose to do a film showing the impact that Rogers had on the life of one man, in this case a fictional journalist named Lloyd Vogel, who is a composite character based on both Tom Junod and Tim Madigan, two cynical journalists who profiled Rogers on separate occasions and were given new perspectives on life. While there have been other films that have been told from the point-of-view of a journalist to varied results, I thought the approach worked exceedingly well in this film, mainly because of how well-written the Lloyd character is. He is a man that is clearly struggling with pain and trauma and he has every reason to be skeptical of Rogers, and yet he finds himself completely taken by Rogers when he is exactly who he presents himself to be on his show. And because of this, Lloyd is able to open himself up to Rogers and even strive to become a better person because of him. Part of the reason this arc works so well (other than because there are at least two other instances of this arc actually occurring in real human beings) is because of how the movie is framed. Heller has stated that she intended this film to be a feature-length Mister Rogers' Neighborhood episode for adults, and it very much is that, all the way from the use of miniature sets of Pittsburgh and NYC during transition scenes to the film's bookend scenes when Rogers talks and sings to the camera as he did on every single episode of his show. And speaking of Rogers, there really was no more perfect person to play him in this than Tom Hanks. While they don't exactly look or sound alike, Hanks nevertheless beautifully captures the essence of who Rogers was, and that alone should be enough for most people to see this film if they haven't already. It serves as both a great companion piece to Won't You Be My Neighbor?, and a heartwarming, inspiring film in its own right.

#12. Knives Out -- Ever since I saw Rian Johnson's first three films (Brick, The Brothers Bloom, and Looper) during my freshman and sophomore years of high school, he has been one of the filmmakers I've been most intrigued by, mostly because of how he can create his own unique stories out of genres as disparate as neo-noir, caper, and science-fiction. He even did that with The Last Jedi in a way, creating his own unique story in the Star Wars canon (which is really good by the way, you can fight me on that). But with Knives Out, he's arguably created his masterpiece, taking the whodunit genre and crafting a unique story that is both smart, unpredictable, timely, and just damned entertaining. The entire ensemble cast is terrific, with Chris Evans and Don Johnson giving two of their best performances as particularly despicable characters, but the two absolute standouts in this film are Daniel Craig and Ana de Armas. Craig is an absolute joy to watch as private detective Benoit Blanc, a hilarious cinematic creation that is familiar but at the same time wholly original. But Ana de Armas as Marta, the true heart and soul of this film, is absolutely outstanding. She is not only by far the most sympathetic character in this story, but like Benoit Blanc, she's just a lot of fun to be around, and she even has some great comedic moments that I won't spoil here because you really need to see them for yourself. In addition, the film's production design is absolutely exquisite, paying homage to other films and plays of this sort (one of the characters even calls it a giant Clue-board) without ever distracting from the story, and the cinematography and editing provide a great, propulsive rhythm that makes the film feel much shorter than its 130 minutes. I am so glad that this film is doing so well at the box office, and I hope and pray that its success leads to more films like this being made and released in theaters, because this is a truly fantastic piece of entertainment, and one that makes me ecstatic to see what Rian Johnson does next.

#11. Jojo Rabbit -- Speaking of filmmakers I'm constantly intrigued by, Taika Waititi has been a big presence on my cinematic radar ever since I saw his wonderful Hunt for the Wilderpeople at the Chicago Critics Film Festival in 2016 (I still have yet to catch up with Boy and What We Do In The Shadows). And even though I'm not a Marvel fan, I still appreciated how he at least made the character of Thor interesting in Thor: Ragnorak. But with Jojo Rabbit, his self-described "anti-hate satire" set in Nazi Germany toward the end of World War II, Waititi has created his boldest piece of filmmaking yet, one that is audacious, hilarious, and surprisingly emotional. In tackling the coming-of-age of a ten-year-old boy named Jojo who idolizes Adolf Hitler (who is portrayed as Jojo's idiotic imaginary friend in a wonderfully comedic performance by Waititi himself) and views Jewish people as inhuman monsters, Waititi walks a very fine line, but manages to succeed in showing just how stupid and childish these beliefs are, and also how easy it is to fall into this way of thinking when it's all you know and when you so desperately want to fit into a group. And later, when Jojo discovers that his mother is secretly hiding a teenage Jewish girl named Elsa in their attic, his entire worldview is turned upside down and he begins to form a friendship with her that is one of the sweetest friendships you'll see in any film this year. Thomasin McKenzie follows up her breakthrough performance in last year's Leave No Trace with another remarkable performance as Elsa, and she brilliantly plays off of newcomer Roman Griffith Davis's Jojo, whose sweetness and naiveté make him lovable in spite of his warped belief system and make it all the more exciting when he finally renounces it. Waititi's writing and visual style has been rightly compared to that of Wes Anderson, and while there are definitely some flashes of Anderson here, the film is still uniquely Waititi's, and there are more than a few deeply shocking and tragic moments in this film that Anderson could never attempt. In all, Jojo Rabbit is a wonderful satire that is equal parts hilarious and unexpectedly moving, and like Knives Out, it makes me incredibly excited to see what its filmmaker does next.

#10. One Child Nation -- And now we go from a satirical portrait of horror and tragedy to a shocking and devastating one. From the moment I learned that this documentary existed last year, I made it a personal goal to seek it out and tell people about it, because China's old child policy is not just some distant thing or piece of trivia for me -- it has had a direct impact on my family. In 2013 (exactly two years before the end of the one-child policy), my aunt and uncle adopted a baby girl from China. Reading later about the prevalence of sex-selective abortions and female infanticide in China under the one-child policy made me realize just how lucky my cousin was to (a) be born in the first place, and (b) actually have a chance at life after birth. So I already had a strong personal connection to this film before I even saw one frame of it, and as expected, that connection was only strengthened further upon seeing the whole thing. This is a painfully grim yet powerful portrait of not only the human rights travesty that was China's one-child policy, but also of what happens when a society loses all respect for human life. Two of the most gut-wrenching sequences in this film involve an elderly midwife who atones for her past participation in forced sterilizations and abortions (many of them very late-term abortions) by helping couples with infertility issues, and a Chinese artist who made it a point to photograph aborted babies he found in garbage dumps and alongside the road as a testament to the human cost of the policy. Later in the film, it is revealed that, once China opened its borders for adoption in the early 90s, Chinese government officials began abducting "extra children" from their homes and placing them in government-run orphanages to be adopted by Western families. This was especially troubling for me thinking of my cousin and the circumstances that possibly lead to her being adopted, and I can only imagine the feelings and questions that would provoke in any family that has adopted from China. Although there were some consequences of the policy I wish could have been explored a little more (i.e., the massive gender imbalance in China), this is still a haunting and remarkable film and easily the best documentary I've seen all year (it thankfully has made the Oscar shortlist for Best Documentary Feature, and if there's any justice at all, it will get nominated and win). It certainly is not an easy watch, but it's a gravely important one, and one that you owe it to yourself to see (it's currently streaming on Amazon Prime).

#9. Blinded by the Light -- So people who know me know that I am, to put it mildly, a die-hard Bruce Springsteen fan. His music has meant so much to me throughout my entire life, the experience of seeing him in concert is almost-religious for me, and his lyrics have provided inspiration for a number of my short films and screenplays. So, naturally, when I saw the trailer for Gurinder Chadha's Blinded by the Light, it immediately became the most anticipated film of 2019 for me. Soon afterward, I had the distinct privilege of getting to see it at the Chicago Critics Film Festival with a group consisting of family and friends (in addition the rest of the large crowd), and that is where I first experienced this profound, joyous, and magical film. And while it certainly is a must-see for fans of Bruce Springsteen like myself, at its core it’s really a fantastic portrayal of the power of great music and art to transcend cultural boundaries and make a significant impact on the most individual of levels. From the moment that Javed (the protagonist of the film) puts the cassette tape of Born in the U.S.A. in his Walkman and hears the lyrics of "Dancing in the Dark" (which appear around him on the screen), I openly wept in the theatre, because I get that feeling when you first hear the music that changes your life, and when you hear those individual lyrics that feel like they were written for you. But in addition to all of this, the film is also a deeply moving portrait of race and identity in 1980s Britain, the conflict between fathers and sons, first love, and friendship that should resonate with everyone regardless of their musical taste. And while I can see this film's flaws more clearly now than I did back in May (when I prematurely named it my favorite film of 2019), I still absolutely love this movie, it brings me pure joy every time I watch it, and I cannot see why anyone would not like this film...unless, for some reason, they hate joy. ;)

#8. Brittany Runs a Marathon -- This is now the fourth film mentioned on this list that I saw at the Chicago Critics Film Festival back in May (in case you haven't figured it out by now, it's a really awesome film festival), and it is easily the biggest surprise of the year for me. Going into it, I just assumed it was going to be a fine, generic indie comedy about someone trying to lose weight and feel better about herself, but this is so, so much more than that. Not only is this movie hilarious, sometimes painfully so, but it's also really sweet and, by the end, unexpectedly moving. The character of Brittany (based on writer/director Paul Downs Colaizzo's close friend and roommate) is one of the most fully-realized and three-dimensional protagonists that I've seen in a movie of this sort, never once coming off like a stereotype and always feeling real. This is in large part thanks to Jillian Bell's brilliant, empathetic performance as Brittany. I had never seen Bell in anything before this, but for her to be given her first lead performance in a film and knock it out of the park like this is really a joy to watch. The supporting performances are great too, with Utkarsh Ambudkar and Lil Rel Howery (who I love in just about everything I see him in) playing off of Bell in ways that are both funny and really touching. But the main reason I ended up loving this film so much is because of how beautifully it earns its ending. I won't spoil it, but I'll just say that I was crying really hard both times I saw this in the theatre. It's so cathartic and moving and a brilliant payoff to the previous 90 minutes, and it really reinforces the beauty of actually working toward self-improvement and taking responsibility for yourself. That certainly spoke to me on a lot of different levels, and if you've ever struggled with self-improvement and taking responsibility for yourself, this film will almost certainly speak to you, and it might even inspire and motivate you to pursue that more. It's currently streaming on Amazon Prime, and I cannot recommend this highly enough. 

#7. The Peanut Butter Falcon -- Speaking of films that surprised me when I first saw them, here's another example of a movie that just came out of nowhere and knocked me out emotionally in all the right ways. I literally had no idea what to expect when walking into Tyler Nilson and Michael Schwartz's The Peanut Butter Falcon. I knew the basic plot and that the lead was a young man with Down syndrome, but that’s about it. But...wow, did I absolutely LOVE this movie. It is earnest and sweet without ever being saccharine or condescending, it’s beautifully shot in a way that grounds its story in reality while still evoking a sense of childlike wonder, and its use of the Southern locale is remarkably authentic and never resorts to degrading cliches. I don't think Shia LaBeouf has ever been better than he is here (although that might change once I get around to seeing Honey Boy), and Dakota Johnson continues to be beautiful and lovely and awesome in everything she’s in (no, I have not seen and will never see the Fifty Shades movies). But the true star of this movie is newcomer Zack Gottsagen, who is so outstanding and lovely to watch playing a role that was clearly written to highlight his gifts as an actor. And he plays an actual full-bodied three-dimensional character, not Hollywood’s normal idea of what someone with Down syndrome is like, which is so important and such a joy to watch. There are so many ways this story could have been screwed up in the hands of lesser filmmakers, but Nilson and Schwartz (first-time feature filmmakers, no less) really pulled off a beautiful miracle of a film here, one that I cannot wait to experience again. So yeah, this is absolutely a masterpiece of American independent cinema, and an important milestone in representation of people with disabilities that will hopefully open the doors for more films like this.

#6. Uncut Gems -- A couple years ago, I wrote an essay for a Cinema Studies class at DePaul on the film Punch-Drunk Love. In it, I briefly discussed how bold of a move it was for Paul Thomas Anderson to cast Adam Sandler in that film, since Sandler was coming off of films such as The Wedding Singer and was widely known as the king of juvenile humor, while Anderson was just coming off of the critically-acclaimed prestige dramas Boogie Nights and Magnolia. In the seventeen years since Punch-Drunk Love, Sandler has continued to make several critically-reviled juvenile comedies while occasionally doing an interesting dramatic film like Jason Reitman's Men, Women, and Children or Noah Baumbach's The Meyerowitz Stories. But I sincerely hope that Uncut Gems marks a turning point in his career, because he gives an absolutely astonishing performance in this film, one that deserves to be compared to Al Pacino's performance in Dog Day Afternoon. But beyond Sandler's performance, Uncut Gems is an absolute masterclass in suspense filmmaking, one that barely allowed me to breathe for the entirety of its 135-minute running-time (which absolutely flies by) and one that is genuinely unpredictable. The second you think Sandler's character is realizing the error of his ways, he decides to dig himself in deeper, and I don't think I've ever heard a louder collective groan in a movie theatre than when that happens here. And the final twenty minutes of this film (which, again, I won't spoil) are absolutely extraordinary, and set a new creative bar for the Safdie brothers that I'm not sure they'll ever top (although I'd love to see if they do). And I haven't even mentioned Julia Fox, who turns in a brilliant debut performance as Sandler's mistress, one that makes me really excited to see what she does next. So yes, this was one of the most unforgettable moviegoing experiences I've had in several years, and definitely make sure to see this one on the big screen. You will not regret it.

#5. Marriage Story -- And now we transition to a movie I really wish I could have seen on the big screen but wasn't able to (I missed it at the Music Box Theatre last month but I'm really hoping they bring it back after the Oscar nominations come out). Noah Baumbach's Marriage Story is easily the best film I've ever seen about divorce, and one of the most emotionally devastating films I've seen this decade. As someone who's lucky enough to have never had to endure being a child of divorce, watching this film gave me a real and visceral understanding of the horrible and insidious nature of divorce, especially when there are kids and lawyers involved. Perhaps the most brilliant thing Baumbach does in his screenplay is give equal time to both Charlie (an Oscar-worthy Adam Driver) and Nicole (Scarlett Johansson in a career performance) and their respective sides in the divorce proceedings, so that the audience is never implored to side with either of them over the other. And while I'm sure some people will still side with one over the other, especially if they've been through something similar to what these characters are going through, what Baumbach beautifully illustrates in this film is that the true villain in stories like this is the system that pits people against each other and causes irreversible damage to the men, women, and children involved. There is one scene in particular where the tension that has been building throughout the film explodes in the most painful and gut-wrenching way imaginable, and by the end my heart was broken for both Charlie and Nicole. So while this is far from a comfortable, escapist watch on Netflix, it's also one of the most deeply moving and rewarding things you will find on that streaming service right now (although if any of you reading this find an opportunity to experience Marriage Story in a movie theatre rather than in your living room or God forbid on your smartphone, take it without thinking twice). It's just a magnificent character study with some of the best acting you'll see this year, a quantum leap for Noah Baumbach, and I firmly believe it will be remembered years from now as one of the greatest cinematic depictions of divorce.

#4. Those Who Remained -- While I know that this film has still not been given a proper release in the U.S., it has been (rightfully) included on this year's Oscar shortlist for the Best International Feature Film category, so I am counting it as a 2019 film. It's been almost two-and-a-half months now since I saw this film at the Chicago International Film Festival, and it continued to stay with me and haunt me throughout the entirety of those almost two-and-a-half months, because this is absolutely one of the most beautiful and haunting masterpieces I've seen this year. As someone who has been fascinated by this period of history ever since reading The Diary of Anne Frank in middle school (which is still one of the most powerful things I've ever read), I was deeply moved by how this film depicts the devastation in Budapest after World War II on the most personal of levels, and how it's able to communicate the collective trauma without resorting to flashbacks or anything of the sort. The father-daughter relationship between the two leads is one of the best I've seen in a long, long time, one that conveys their own need to fill the voids left by their lost family members as well as the broader societal struggle to try and achieve some sense of normalcy as a way of coping with grief. The performances of the two leads are outstanding as well, especially Abigél Szõke, who absolutely knocks it out of the park in every single scene (there's a scene in particular when she's looking through two old photo albums that nearly destroyed me). I could go on about how this is a nearly perfect movie on every single level, from the pitch-perfect cinematography to how the score is sparingly used to great effect, but I'm just going to say to please keep an eye out for this movie. As I mentioned above, it is on the Oscar shortlist for the Best International Feature Film category this year, and if there is any justice in this world whatsoever, it will absolutely be nominated. And when it is, it will be released in the Chicago area (and hopefully most major metropolitan areas), and when that happens, it will be everyone's civic duty to see this movie and then get their friends to see it. So please do your civic duty when it comes time to do so.

#3. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood -- I have been an admirer of Quentin Tarantino's work ever since my parents took me to see Django Unchained on Christmas Day 2012, but it was really when I watched Inglourious Basterds for the first time that I truly saw him for the genius and visionary that he is. Having seen this film twice now (the second time at the Music Box Theatre on glorious 70mm), I can safely say that is absolutely one of Tarantino’s best films and one of the greatest movies ever made about Hollywood and L.A. in general. Not only was it so cool to see a lot of the places I went to a lot during my time in L.A. (Musso and Frank’s on Sunset, the Cinerama Dome that’s now a part of ArcLight Hollywood, the Bruin Theatre that I sat across from every week), but this is really just a beautifully layered, ambitious, surprisingly funny and oddly melancholy film that manages to pay tribute to the time period it depicts while also examining its darker aspects in classic Tarantino fashion. Leonardo DiCaprio is perfectly cast in his role, and Brad Pitt hasn’t had this much fun in a movie since at least Burn After Reading (and I do believe he will win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar). Even Margot Robbie is great here, even if the Sharon Tate character is treated as more of an idea than a person. There are just so many great scenes and lines of dialogue that are a joy to revisit, in particular an extended sequence involving Pitt's character at Spahn Ranch that is both hilarious and unbearably tense, and a scene involving DiCaprio's character talking with an extremely precocious eight-year-old actress played by Julia Butters, who is out-freaking-standing and gives the best child performance in any movie this year (and she's in one scene!). And this is also the fastest two hours and forty-five minutes I’ve ever experienced, without a single second wasted (unlike a certain three-and-a-half hour movie that, in my opinion, has several wasted seconds). So yes, I loved this movie, like really, truly loved this movie, and this is absolutely a must-see if you’re a Tarantino fan, or a fan of movies in general, or a human being.

#2. Parasite -- From the moment the credits rolled on this film back in October when I first saw it (funny enough, just a few days after I saw the other foreign-language film in my top 5, Those Who Remained), I knew I had witnessed something truly special, a film that is literal definition of cinema, a film from a master filmmaker in complete and utter control of his craft, and a film that will become regarded as one of the greatest films in world cinema. These are not phrases I use lightly, but I feel that they are ones that accurately apply to this film, a hilarious, terrifying, almost-unbearably tense, and relentlessly biting satire on Korean society, class and the human condition that I truly cannot wait to experience again and again. Much like Marriage Story, Parasite is a film that allows you to see both the good and evil in the two families at the center of this story, families that are beautifully brought to life via the outstanding ensemble cast at this film's center. Just a few of the standouts from this cast include Park So Dam as the daughter of the poor family, a chain-smoking document forger who poses as "Jessica the art therapist," Cho Yeo Jeong as the wife of the rich family, whose kindness and naiveté go a long way towards humanizing her family, and Song Kang Ho as the patriarch of the poor family, who is unquestionably the heart and soul of this film and who becomes the film's tragic hero by the end. And just from a cinematography and production design standpoint, this film is one of the best of the decade. The majority of it takes place in a house that was built from the ground up specifically for the film, and it very much becomes a character in the story, giving off different vibes as the film twists and turns. And I know I've already used the term "unpredictable" twice in this post, but nowhere can it be more accurately applied than to this film. I honestly had no idea where this story was going to go, and please for the love of God, do not read anything about the plot of this film before going to see it, because the best way to see it is how I first saw it: knowing as little about it as possible. This is a film that needs to be experienced in order to really understand what an absolute masterwork it is. And although I've only seen it once (so far), I personally cannot wait to see this again and again, and pick up on the little bits of social commentary I may have missed the first time. This film deserves every bit of praise and Oscar buzz it's been getting, and I sincerely hope the Academy recognizes this across the board like they did with Roma last year, because this film is truly that special.

And...#1. Little Women -- And just when I thought that no other 2019 film could ever top Parasite as my #1 of 2019, I saw Greta Gerwig's Little Women on Christmas Day with my family and it almost immediately overtook the #1 spot. Now, full disclosure: I had never read or seen any incarnation of Louisa May Alcott's Little Women before walking into this movie, so I had absolutely nothing to compare this film to. But what I got out of seeing Greta Gerwig's Little Women is that it is an absolute masterpiece and the best film of 2019. It is a beautiful, brilliantly-crafted, funny, joyous, but also heartbreaking and profound film that encapsulates pretty much everything love about cinema and storytelling. The way Gerwig structures this classic story to make it a meditation on the loss of innocence and loneliness and regret is absolutely remarkable and it totally speaks to me as a young adult in a turbulent stage of life. All four of the actresses who play the March sisters are terrific and perfectly cast, but the performances of Saoirse Ronan and Florence Pugh are extraordinary and absolutely deserving of awards attention (if it were up to me, Pugh would win Best Supporting Actress because she's that good). And even the supporting performances by Timothee Chalamet (who continues to be one of the greatest actors on the face of Planet Earth) and Meryl Streep (who hasn't been this much fun to watch in anything since Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events) are excellent and helped to round out a world that I wanted to stay in long after the credits rolled. In many ways, watching this film reminded me of the first time I read L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables (which still remains my favorite book of all time), and not just because of the lovely female characters and period setting, but also because of how it created a world that is both joyous and comforting while never feeling shallow or phony. Much like I tend to go back to Anne of Green Gables when I'm depressed and need something that is going to fill me with sheer, authentic joy, I can imagine myself going back to this film when I'm feeling down in the future, which is not something I can say about many other films from this decade. So yes, this is a really, deeply special film, one I cannot wait to see again (I still have only seen this once, darn it!) and one that every single person on Earth should see. This is absolutely the best film of 2019, and one of the most joyous moviegoing experiences I’ve ever had.

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And, for anyone who's curious, here's a list of 15 runners-up, i.e. films that are really good (and, in some cases, great) that just missed the cut for my top 15, listed in alphabetical order:

Abducted in Plain Sight
Dolemite Is My Name
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

Ford v. Ferrari

Her Smell

The Irishman

Midsommar

1917
Pain and Glory
Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Rocketman

Toy Story 4
The Two Popes

Us

Western Stars

Unplanned

It was in August of 2016 at the Students for Life of Illinois (now weDignify) Leadership Retreat in Champaign, IL that I first was given a copy of Abby Johnson's memoir Unplanned. I had heard of the book beforehand and the real-life story behind it fascinated me, but it wasn't until that month that I actually sat down and read the whole thing cover-to-cover. And when I did, I was incredibly moved and inspired by it, and I even said to myself after I was done reading it, "I could totally see this as a movie." Now, full disclosure: I was raised by two pro-choice parents and, for the first sixteen years of my life (or at least from the time I was eleven, which is when I first heard the word "abortion"), I just kind of blindly accepted their view as gospel. But then around the time I was sixteen, I began to make friends with people who were pro-life and hearing their views on abortion inspired me to research what abortion actually is; and when I saw what it is, and when I heard testimonies from post-abortive women who spoke at length about the physical and emotional damage abortion inflicted on them...there was really no turning back for me. So just on that level alone, I was very intrigued to see Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon's film adaptation of Johnson's memoir.

But then just over a month ago, I was given the opportunity to go to a free advance screening of the film at the beautiful Pickwick Theater in Park Ridge, IL. And it was there, literally a minute before the film was about to begin, that I heard it was going to be R-rated. When I heard this, I almost immediately felt of two minds about this. On one hand, I know a lot of Christians who draw a hard line about not going to see R-rated movies, and it would be silly not to acknowledge the sick irony that, in some places in the U.S. (i.e., New York, Oregon, Washington, Maine, etc.), a 13-year-old girl can get an abortion without parental consent but isn't allowed to see this movie without an adult. But on the other hand, I really appreciate the fact that, for once, a movie is being made about abortion that isn't whitewashed, phony, or sugarcoated, and that actually portrays it for what it is. Back in October, I reviewed a film called Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer, and as much as I liked that movie as a police procedural and courtroom drama, it played it pretty safe by hiding the gruesome natural of Kermit Gosnell's crimes. Unplanned is much more raw and realistic than that movie was, and that is where much of its power lies.

Much like the memoir it is based on, the film opens in medias res around September 2009, with Abby Johnson being asked by a fellow Planned Parenthood clinic worker to assist in the ultrasound-guided abortion of a 13-week-old unborn child. While staring at the ultrasound monitor as the abortion is being performed, Abby notices something horrific: the baby seeming to struggle and move away from the vacuum tube. Then, the powerful vacuum is turned on, ripping the baby apart as it is sucked up the tube. Upon seeing this, Abby immediately leaves the room and goes into the bathroom, where she begins sobbing, as her eight years of working for Planned Parenthood and assisting women in obtaining abortions begin crashing down on her and she realizes that she can no longer do this.

We then flashback to eight years earlier to 2001, when Abby is a student at Texas A&M University and she visits the Planned Parenthood table at a college volunteer fair. The people working at the table tell her that Planned Parenthood seeks to help women obtain health care and reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies through birth control. Being attracted to this mission, she agrees to visit one day and begins to volunteer as a clinic escort, walking women from their car to the door and trying to help block out the voices of the protestors outside, who were mostly loud and angry and confrontational toward the women walking into the clinic.

As time progresses, Abby rises in the ranks at Planned Parenthood, becoming their "community services director" and eventually the director of the Bryan, Texas clinic that she first volunteered at. The film guides the audience through her eight years at the clinic, including her counseling sessions with women coming in with unplanned pregnancies, her encounters with a local group called the "Coalition for Life" that would peacefully pray outside the clinic, and her ever-burgeoning romance with a college friend named Doug, who disapproves of her job but yet supports her, loves her, and eventually marries and starts a family with her. This film also depicts Abby's previous relationship with a selfish, abusive man named Mark, which resulted in two unplanned pregnancies that both ended in an abortion, the second one an RU-486 abortion that's depicted via a disturbing, bloody flashback that's among the most raw, powerful sequences I've ever seen in a "Christian" film (it's right up there with the scourging scene in Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ).

All of this builds up to the moment in which Abby witnesses the abortion that opens her eyes to what it actually is. And once this happens, the film definitely shifts gears into being a full-on Christian film about redemption and standing up for what you believe in, all of which are things that personally speak to me and that will definitely speak to this film's core audience. This is a deeply affecting film that rises above the cliches and limitations of the faith-based genre to deliver something raw, mature, powerful, and surprisingly well-written and acted.

Writers/directors Konzelman and Solomon (whose past credits include the first two God's Not Dead films and another PureFlix Christian drama called Do You Believe?) have definitely taken off the training wheels and kid gloves for this film, something that I've been waiting for filmmakers in this genre to do for a while now. Rather than presenting a watered-down Sunday school message filled with on-the-nose dialogue and high-school-drama-club-level acting, what they present here is, essentially, the deeply personal conversion story of Abby Johnson. Much like last year's I Can Only Imagine, Unplanned filters its message through someone's personal story, showing how the themes of faith, suffering, forgiveness, and redemption play out in real life rather than in the imaginations of Christian screenwriters. And they are played out in such a way that moved myself (and many in the audience I saw it with) to tears.

For starters, I loved the scenes with Abby and her boyfriend/husband Doug. With most of these scenes being taken right from Johnson's memoir, they are among the most authentically written scenes I've seen in a "Christian" film. The unconditional love that Doug shows Abby even though he disagrees strongly with her job is incredibly inspiring and it goes to show how simple grace and empathy can transcend politics and ideology when it comes to the people you love. And even Abby's relationships with Shawn Carney and his wife Marilisa portray a level of empathy even when they're adversaries so that when Abby goes into their office sobbing out of guilt and shame, it doesn't feel cheap or forced or a sell-out or anything like that; rather, it is real, deeply emotional and incredibly powerful, because up until that point, Shawn and Marilisa had shown nothing but grace and kindness toward Abby, so that she didn't feel scared to go to them once she realized she wanted out.

Another area in which this film transcends many of the other films of this genre: the performances, particularly that of Ashley Bratcher, who plays Abby in the film. I had never even heard of her until this movie, but she is really outstanding here. Rather than play up the melodrama that many actors do in films like this, she gives a very nuanced performance, convincingly portraying Abby at all points in her journey and allowing the audience to buy her eventual breakdown and conversion that the entire movie is building towards. And the supporting performances are also surprisingly convincing, most notably Robia Scott (Jenny Calendar from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), who plays Abby's boss during her days at Planned Parenthood. Her cold nature never feels too forced or over-the-top even if some of her dialogue can be a little on-the-nose at times (specifically in one scene after Abby leaves Planned Parenthood and becomes pro-life), and she ends up providing a deeply chilling foil for Abby.

Even on a pure production level, this is head-and-shoulders above many other movies of its type. The cinematography is well-done and adds tension to many crucial scenes. The editing is consistent throughout and always works in favor of the story. The production design is impressive with a great attention to detail that reflects Abby's memoir (and its all the more impressive considering how the filmmakers legally weren't allowed to show Planned Parenthood's logo at any point). But ultimately, the number one reason this film resonated with me so much is because of how it never shied away from the grim reality of abortion. Right out of the gate, Konzelman and Solomon allow you to witness the moment where it hit home for Abby and it is really powerful. Given how many movies nowadays (i.e., Obvious Child, Grandma, the upcoming Saint Frances, etc.) are attempting to portray abortion as "normal" and/or "empowering" in an attempt to promote it (all the while hiding the actual reality of what it is), it is of the upmost importance to educate people on the reality of abortion so that it's no longer minimized, and so that those who oppose it (like myself) know what it is they oppose, and also so that those who support it know exactly what it is they support.

Of course, once reviews for this film started coming out there were numerous people who immediately dismissed as "anti-choice propaganda" and even people who tried to discredit Abby's story and paint her as a liar, all of which is to be expected from people who can't stand to hear a single negative thing about Planned Parenthood or any abortion-related story that flies in the face of their narrative. But as film critic Matt Zoller Seitz from RogerEbert.com said a while back, American cinema “is supposed to be a populist art form representing the body politic as it is, not merely as the industry wishes it could be.” While yes, this is from the same production company that made God's Not Dead and it's not quite up to the level of films like Eighth Grade and Roma quality-wise (some parts of Unplanned were too visually glossy for my taste and I could have done without the abundance of voiceover), this is still a very impressive and important film that provides a perspective far-too-rarely seen on film. Regardless of whether you agree with Abby Johnson or not, her story is one that needs to be told and her perspective is one that is unique among those who oppose abortion.

And while I'm not going to descend into wishful thinking and hope that the most ardent pro-choicers reconsider their stances because of this film, I do hope for this, above all else: that people, regardless of their stance on abortion or their political affiliation, give this movie a fair shot. Don't write it off, sight unseen, because of what you assume it to be. Leave your expectations at the door and just sit and listen to Abby's perspective and story. Because who knows, you might even walk out enlightened and with a broader perspective if you do. And for that reason alone, I strongly recommend this film.

My Top 15 Favorite Films of 2018 (plus 20 runners-up)

2018 was a very interesting year for me in many ways. I turned twenty-one years old in February (a milestone marked by trip to Las Vegas with my parents and a bunch of friends), I became a college senior, and I did three film-related internships in the span of six months. Two of these internships were in Los Angeles, where I lived for three months as a part of DePaul University's LA Quarter program. Being given the opportunity to live there, I took full advantage of it by going to as many film screenings as I possibly could, and as a result, 2018 became the year where I saw more movies than I ever have in a single calendar year. Because of that, and just because there have been a lot of great films by unique artists with unique voices this year, I had a very difficult time picking slots in my top 15. There were quite a few great movies I was forced to leave off as well as a few I was surprised made their way in. But overall, I really do feel like this is a strong top 15 that showcases the films this year that made an impact on me for one reason or another.

And just like I said when I made my 2017 post last year, these 15 films I'm about to list (and the order in which I list them) may not be what some would consider the BEST films of 2018; but rather, they are my personal FAVORITE films that, for one reason or another, impacted me as a student of film and as an aspiring filmmaker and that, in my opinion, speak in some way to the broader world we all live in. So, without further ado, here are my top 15 favorite films of 2018 from 15 to 1:

#15. Chappaquiddick -- One of the most overlooked and unfairly ignored films of the year, this film came out back in April and really flew under the radar, which is a shame because it's an incredibly fascinating and well-acted historical drama about a true story that I had never even heard of. For those who don't know the film's story (like me earlier this year), in July 1969, Senator Ted Kennedy was driving at night with a young woman named Mary Jo Kopechne who had worked for his deceased brother Robert F. Kennedy when he drove his car off of a one-lane bridge and into a pond. He then freed himself, swam to safety, left Kopechne to drown in his fully-submerged car, and didn't report the incident for ten hours afterward. Having recently re-watched the film on Netflix (where I would strongly recommend you all to check the film out), I was struck by just how great Jason Clarke is in the film as Ted Kennedy. Everything from the New England accent to the mannerisms to his interactions with the family lawyer (played by a very impressive Ed Helms) is pretty much spot-on, and if it were up to me, he would be a surefire Best Actor contender. As well, the screenplay from Taylor Allen and Andrew Logan manages to successfully walk the line between humanizing Kennedy without ever letting him off the hook for his despicable act of cowardice. In a time where political scandals are fairly commonplace, it's helpful to watch a film that depicts a particular scandal that got too overlooked at its time, and in particular how the subject of said scandal got away with his actions and became an icon for the Democratic Party. But regardless of your political persuasion, Chappaquiddick is a very compelling and well-done historical film that you should seek out as it will likely both enlighten and anger you.

#14. First Man -- Speaking of overlooked 2018 movies set in July of 1969, here's a film that I was really shocked underperformed as much as it did. After Damien Chazelle directed two of the very best films of the last several years (Whiplash and La La Land) and after Ryan Gosling has consistently proved to be one of the greatest actors working today, I was very excited to see these two collaborate once again on a film depicting one of mankind's greatest achievements, and I was not disappointed in the slightest. This is an excellent, suspenseful, and surprisingly emotional film that takes a story we've all heard a million times -- that of the Apollo 11 mission which resulted in Neil Armstrong becoming the first man to set foot on the lunar surface -- and focuses on an aspect of it that I didn't know about, which is Neil Armstrong's personal journey and the sacrifices that he and the other men around him made to allow this achievement to happen. Gosling is absolutely outstanding in the film, playing an emotionally reserved man who can communicate so much with a simple glance or gesture (there's one particular scene when he's talking on the phone at the White House that's incredibly devastating), and Claire Foy is equally impressive as his wife, a role that could have easily been a sounding board but is instead a complex character struggling with her role as a '60s housewife who fears of becoming a single mother should one wrong thing happen on one of her husband's missions. But what ultimately elevates this movie from being really good to something truly special is the Moon landing sequence. Set to Justin Hurwitz's roaring score, we see Neil Armstrong step onto the lunar surface, utter his famous words, and then (spoiler alert) we see him leave a keepsake from his deceased daughter on the Moon. It is a beautiful moment that brought me almost to tears, and it's followed by a great wide shot of the American flag on the lunar surface that should shut up any stupid and unwarranted controversy regarding that particular aspect of the film. So yes, this is easily one of the best narrative biopics of the last few years and is a must-see for anyone interested in space or American history.

#13. First Reformed -- I first saw this film at the Chicago Critics Film Festival earlier this year with one of my good friends, and having just watched it a second time on Amazon Prime, I can attest to it being one of the most thought-provoking and haunting movies of the year, and I'm really glad that the critics are helping to push this into awards season. Having watched the Schrader-written Taxi Driver for the first time just weeks before my first viewing of First Reformed, I definitely caught on to many of the parallels between the two films, and especially between the protagonists in the two films. Reverend Ernst Toller (played in the best performance of his career by Ethan Hawke) is as much of a damaged and lonely man as Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, one who descends into insanity after coming under the spell of a radical environmental activist. While Schrader has openly said that this film reflects his anxieties about climate change, the film on its own observes Reverend Toller's despair from a cold, detached perspective while taking into account Toller's health problems (including alcoholism and possible stomach cancer) and his grief over the failure of his marriage and the death of his son in the Iraq War, and as a result, Schrader creates a film that is at once political and apolitical, one that paints an unsettling picture of what loneliness and isolation can do to a person that is on the level of both Taxi Driver and Bruce Springsteen's "Nebraska". While this film is definitely not for everyone, I would highly recommend it to those up for a challenging film that will leave you thinking about it long after the credits roll.

#12. The Favourite -- Upon seeing Yorgos Lanthimos' previous film, the outstandingly wonderful and unsettling The Killing of a Sacred Deer, I couldn't wait to see what he had next up his sleeve. And while this is definitely a much more accessible and straightforward film from him (even more than his first English-language film The Lobster), it still has that great, twisted blend of black comedy and gothic horror, this time mixed in with historical drama and eighteenth century British politics in a very unique way that really shows a range for Lanthimos that I wasn't sure he had. Working with a terrific screenplay from Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara, Lanthimos provides a brilliant showcase for Olivia Colman, playing Queen Anne in spectacular fashion, as well as Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz as the two women jockeying to be her "favourite," who each manage to play their parts authentically and without ever hitting a false note. But out of the three main performances in this film, I was particularly impressed and enraptured with Emma Stone, who shows a side of herself as an actress that she hasn't gotten to before and continually proves herself to be one of the best actresses on the face of planet Earth. In addition, the cinematography from Robbie Ryan is some of the best I've seen in this year and truly adds to the uniqueness of the film as a whole, and the production design and costume design are almost certainly going to win Oscars. And while I still haven't gotten to see Mary Queen of Scots yet, I highly doubt that there is a better historical drama this year than The Favourite, and I personally can't wait to watch this film again and pick up on all the little details Lanthimos puts in here.

#11. Monrovia, Indiana -- I'm sure a lot of you reading this list right now just got to this and are like, "Wait, what is this?" I'll admit, I surprised myself by putting this on my list instead of some other films that you'll see later missed the cut. But nonetheless, I saw Frederick Wiseman's quiet, contemplative, beautiful vérité documentary Monrovia, Indiana at the Laemmle Music Hall 3 in Beverly Hills, CA where it was playing for one week at the beginning of this past November and it hit me in a lot of ways I didn't expect. I had first learned about Frederick Wiseman in my History of Cinema class at DePaul last year, when my professor Eric Marsh showed us one of his earliest films from the last 1960s called High School, so I was familiar with Wiseman's singular style and sensibility going into this movie. For the 99.999% of people reading this that aren't familiar with Wiseman, he's an 88-year-old documentary filmmaker who's making documentaries about specific places for over fifty years. In all of his movies, there's no voiceover, talking heads, or non-diegetic music and you don’t follow any specific people through this film; rather, he paints beautiful, full, sometimes epic pictures of these specific places so that by the end, even if you've never been to that place, you feel like you know it like the back of your hand. And that absolutely applies to this film. I saw elements of the two Northwest Indiana towns I grew up in (Highland and Crown Point) as well as Windsor, New York (a small rural town in Upstate New York where I’d go a lot as a kid) in the town of Monrovia. Numerous people depicted reminded of people I’ve met in my life. And many of the seemingly-random sequences in this film (particular a wedding about midway through and a funeral that happens at the very end) are quietly powerful and beautiful. It’s a movie where barely anything “happens” but yet you feel like you’ve just witnessed full lifetimes. And, perhaps most refreshingly, Wiseman never turns his nose up at any of the people in this town. Watching it in a Beverly Hills theatre with a few others sitting around me, I really got the sense that Wiseman was doing a lot more than painting a picture of this town; he was trying to get liberal elites living in coastal cities to feel empathy for those in rural red-state America who have different values and who most likely voted differently than them, and in this day and age, that is really the most important thing anyone can do. So yeah, I really, really, deeply loved this movie. Like First Reformed, it's definitely not for everyone, but I found it incredibly rewarding. 

#10. Green Book -- One of the most unabashed crowd-pleasers of the year, this is another film that, like Monrovia, Indiana, seeks to generate empathy via the central friendship at its core, that of Frank "Tony Lip" Vallelonga, an Italian-American nightclub bouncer-turned-driver and bodyguard, and Dr. Don Shirley, the famed jazz pianist who Tony Lip is hired to accompany on his tour of the Deep South. Their friendship is one of the most beautiful and fun-to-watch friendships I've seen in any movie this year, and a lot of that is due to both co-writer Nick Vallelonga (Tony Lip's son in real life) bringing a refreshing honesty to the writing of this film (with help from co-writers Brian Hayes Currie and Peter Farrelly), and the performances of Viggo Mortensen and Mahershala Ali. Both of these actors embody the men they play so fully and beautifully that I never once felt like I was watching two people act, and Ali is almost certainly destined for a second Best Supporting Actor is Oscar as he proves himself once again to be one of our best working actors. And Peter Farrelly...I mean, wow, for the guy who co-directed Dumb and Dumber and There's Something About Mary to come out of nowhere and make this film is easily one of the biggest surprises of the year. And while it's not exactly fair to compare the directing in this movie to, say, Yorgos Lanthimos' directing of The Favourite, it's still very good and makes me really curious to see how he follows this up. So yes, I adore this movie, and I honestly cannot see why anybody wouldn't like it, and you will most definitely want to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken after you see it. ;)

#9. Leave No Trace -- Speaking of big surprises from this year, I had absolutely no idea what to expect from Debra Granik's Leave No Trace when I saw it at the Chicago Critics Film Festival back in May, and I was absolutely blown away by it. It's a quietly powerful and beautiful film about a father and daughter living on the outskirts of society and what happens when their lives suddenly get derailed...and that's about as much detail as I want to go into in terms of the plot, because the best way to see it is how I first saw it: knowing as little about it as possible. But let me just say this: if it weren't for a certain teenage actress that I will be bringing up at a later point on my list, Thomasin McKenzie's performance in this film would far and away be the best child/teenage performance of the year. She is so powerfully convincing as a young girl being forced into a situation by her well-meaning but troubled father who she desperately wants to help but can't. It's an incredible discovery and I can't wait to see where she goes from here. So yes, if you've never seen or even if you've never heard of this movie, please do yourself a favor and seek it out immediately. It will definitely leave a trace in your mind...I'll show myself out.

#8. Thoroughbreds -- Now here's a perfect example of a great independent movie that was basically dumped by its distributor all the way back in March, made no money at the box office, and then is pretty much forgotten by every major critics group and awards voting body now at awards season. It's really a shame, because having seen this twice now (once in March and a second time over the summer with my friends Nicole Brumley and Rebecca Queen), this is really one of the best teen thrillers to come out in quite a while. Written and directed by first-time filmmaker Cory Finley (who, shockingly, had never even been on a film set before the first day of filming for this movie), this film tells the story of two teenage girls named Lily and Amanda who together plot to murder Lily's stepfather at Amanda's request (since Amanda is basically an emotionless sociopath), with the help of a local drug dealer, played by Anton Yelchin in his last film appearance. This is one of those movies (like a couple others that will come up later on this list) that you're shocked is from a first-time filmmaker because of the amount of skill and mastery on display. Finley's use of long-takes and 2-shots are incredibly effective and the way he helps to create this cold and unsettling mood throughout while still making the film entertaining is really quite impressive. And the performances he gets out of Anya Taylor-Joy and Olivia Cooke (who play Lily and Amanda) are outstanding on so many different levels, particularly Taylor-Joy, as her character's slow descent into a sociopathic nature very similar to Cooke's is handled hauntingly and masterfully. Cooke is also showing to be one of the best actresses of her generation, as she embodies her character so convincingly and plays off of Taylor-Joy so well that you almost become convinced she doesn't have any feelings in real life either. And Anton Yelchin...I really don't have any words to say except that, if there were any justice in this world, he would get a posthumous Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role in this film. He is so, so great in this movie and just knowing that he wrapped it fourteen days before his death is so heartbreaking. He definitely would have gone on to a long, great career had he not been taken from us so young. But anyway, if you haven't seen this movie (and I'm guessing most of you haven't), please rent it and watch it immediately. You will not regret it.

#7. Welcome to Marwen -- I never expected to say this about a Robert Zemeckis movie starring Steve Carell released at Christmas, but this is easily the most misunderstood and unfairly maligned film of the year. I really have no idea why it's been getting slammed by a lot of critics other than for the fact that it is very sentimental and maybe it had more fantasy sequences than certain people were expecting, but I absolutely loved this movie. Like I posted on my Facebook page right after I saw it at a special screening co-hosted by Nick Digilio of WGN Radio, it's one of the best recent movies I've seen about the creation of art. And as a screenwriter with Asperger's Syndrome who has struggled with loneliness and isolation, this movie spoke to me on so many different levels, from the way Zemeckis beautifully blended fantasy and reality to the heartbreakingly authentic way Steve Carell portrays this broken man who builds this world in his backyard as his way of expressing himself and working through his trauma. And on top of that, this is also a great movie about addiction, something co-writer/director Robert Zemeckis also tackled in his movie Flight from a couple years ago. While this deals with it in more of a fantastical way than that film did, it still works beautifully in the world of this story and it all builds up to a great climactic scene that pays off so many different set-ups and also includes a wonderful homage to Zemeckis' own Back to the Future. But at its core, what this movie's really about, and why everybody needs to see it, is the healing power of art and storytelling and using fantasy to help you come back to reality. There's even a scene about halfway through the film between Carell and his neighbor (played with great softness by Leslie Mann) that illustrates this beautifully, and it is so cringe-y but yet feels so authentic and real that you can't help but feel for both of them in that situation. I could go on and on about this movie, but I really encourage people to seek this film about despite its low Rotten Tomatoes score, and I'm very thankful that critics like Nick Digilio and Erik Childress and Richard Roeper understand this movie and are going out of their way to champion it. It's really a beautiful film.

#6. If Beale Street Could Talk -- I have to admit, I wasn't the biggest fan of Barry Jenkins' Moonlight when it came out. Granted, I did love it when I first saw it, but it ended up being fairly low on my end-of-the-year list that year and I did not think it deserved Best Picture over La La Land. However, from the moment my eyes graced the beautiful cinematography and my ears heard the magical score that open If Beale Street Could Talk, I immediately fell in love with this movie. While Moonlight was a very specific, personal film that was a bit hard for me to relate to, Beale Street is very much a universal story of love mixed in with a very specific story of racial injustice and the daily struggle of being an African-American in this country. Much of the same lyrical devices and cinematography that Jenkins loves to use is on display to wonderful effect here, capturing the lyrical feel of this particular narrative, and the cinematography and framing devices and the use of colors and lighting that Jenkins uses...I mean my God, is it remarkable. And the performances from Stephan James and Regina King are great, but KiKi Layne, whose feature debut this is, is truly astonishing. Her voiceover is so beautiful and her intimate love scenes with Stephan James feel so real and not forced at all and she truly captures what it means to be in love with somebody and to be willing to do anything to strengthen those bonds. And I'm not even getting into the score, which is the best of the year and the competition isn't even that close. So yes, Barry Jenkins has made a remarkable and beautiful film here, and I hope Annapurna expands this wide and proud because it needs to be seen, and it needs to be seen on the big screen.

#5. Widows -- I always have a soft space for whenever a movie can effectively portray the city of Chicago for all its exterior beauty and internal violence and corruption, but there have only been a very, very small amount movies that have been able to do that (obviously The Fugitive and Chi-Raq being the most obvious one to come to mind). Well, Widows might now be the go-to movie about this topic, as it is one of the best and most realistic portrayals of the city of Chicago I have ever seen on film. It is really one of those great movies that works on every single level: as pure popcorn entertainment, as a multi-layered commentary about a certain brand of politics and corruption unique to the city of Chicago (we're not called the Windy City because of the weather), as a showcase for some of the best actors working today, and as an outlet for an acclaimed arthouse filmmaker (Steve McQueen) to take some of his best tricks into the mainstream heist-film realm. And I'm not exaggerating when I say nearly everything in this movie works. The way McQueen and his co-writer Gillian Flynn juggle all these different characters and storylines never feels messy or forced, and they allow opportunities for all the actors playing them to shine. And to talk about how great all the different actors are would almost require an entirely separate blog post. But I'll just say this: Viola Davis, Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Debicki (who, by the way, is the absolute breakout star of this film), Cynthia Erivo, Colin Ferrel, Liam Neeson, Robert Duvall, Brian Tyree Henry, and Daniel Freaking Kaluuya are all outstanding in this film. Every single one of them. Outstanding. And I'm not even getting into McQueen's directing and cinematography, which is pitch-perfect nearly the whole time, including one scene that features the best tracking shot of the year by a mile (I won't give it away, see it for yourself). I could talk for hours about this movie, but please do yourself and the city of Chicago and Steve McQueen a favor and seek it out. Even just on the most surface of levels, it's a damned entertaining movie. 

#4. Won't You Be My Neighbor? -- There have been some great documentaries this year (the aforementioned Monrovia, Indiana, as well as Minding the Gap, Free Solo, and Three Identical Strangers) but no one will ever be able to convince me that any documentary in 2018 is as beautiful, moving, or profound as Won't You Be My Neighbor?. I saw this film at the Laemmle Music Hall 3 in Beverly Hills this last September with my LA roommate Francisco Casanova, and we were both sitting there for a good portion of the film with tears in our eyes. While I didn't really grow up watching "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" on TV like a lot of people did, I knew about him and the show from my parents and it ultimately didn't really matter when watching the movie. Director Morgan Neville does a remarkable job at introducing you to the life and philosophy of Fred Rogers in a way that appeals to everyone regardless of how or when you grew up. Especially as someone who's struggled with feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing, it's incredibly moving to see someone like Fred Rogers use his platform to tell thousands of children that they have value regardless of who they are and where they came from, and to never do it in a false or condescending way. In many ways, he used his platform to spread the love of Jesus Christ in a way that impacted thousands of more people than he would have if he would have become a pastor (as was his original life's goal), and that is incredibly inspiring to me as someone who is both a Christian and an aspiring filmmaker. I could go on and on, but ultimately this is an amazing documentary that brilliantly captures a man who dedicated his life's work to being an example of Christ's love to children all over the world, and everyone should absolutely see it.

#3. A Star is Born -- This was really one of the handful of movies I've ever seen where as soon as it was over, I knew I had seen something that would be remembered years down the road as a classic love story. Like Thoroughbreds and another movie I'll be mentioning in a little bit, this film is one that represents a stunning debut for its first-time filmmaker, and one that shows incredible skill and mastery of the craft right out of the gate. As the co-writer, director, and star of this film, there are so many ways Bradley Cooper could have failed miserably and yet he succeeds in pulling off a grand cinematic tightrope walk, as this film has an outstanding screenplay, beautiful direction, and two of the best lead performances I've seen this year. I mean...for Lady Gaga to come right out of the gate and give this beautiful, heartbreaking, soulful performance is almost unbelievable, and she absolutely deserves to be a front-runner for the Best Actress Oscar. And in addition to co-writing and directing this film with incredible skill and mastery, Cooper also gives an incredible performance as Jackson Maine, the alt-country singer/songwriter who discovers Gaga's Ally in a drag bar and helps her rise to superstardom while struggling with alcoholism and pill addiction. As has been said many times over, the chemistry between Cooper and Gaga never once feels forced or anything less than genuine. When these two look into each other's eyes, and especially when they first sing the movie's signature tune "Shallow" together, you can feel their chemistry and love for each other emanating off the screen in a way that makes you fall head-over-heels for both of them. And that's not even to mention the film's ending, which I didn't see coming (namely because I haven't seen any of the other incarnations of this story) and it completely devastated me. But in short, everything about this movie worked for me, even the parts that came off to other critics as cliched. This movie deserves every bit of box-office clout and Oscar consideration it's been getting, it deserves to be talked about years from now as a modern classic, and I can't wait to see what Cooper the director and Gaga the movie star do next.

#2. Roma -- From the moment the screening of this film concluded at the AFI Fest in Los Angeles, I knew it had to be #2 or #1 on my list. Sitting there at the film's Los Angeles premiere at the historic Egyptian Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard, it took a while for me to really process why this film struck me as so significant, and why exactly it so profoundly moved me, but after seeing a second time back home in Chicago with my parents, I was finally able to put my feelings into words. In some ways, watching Roma reminded me of the experience I had watching Boyhood over four years ago. While this didn’t quite have the same personal impact on me that Boyhood did, it has that same epic yet intimate feel that Boyhood had, and it feels just as intensely personal to Cuarón. One of the film’s producers said in the Q&A that Roma is almost an exact recreation of Cuarón’s childhood, and I would go even further to say that this film is the perfect summation of Cuarón’s career, with various moments in the film serving as subtle callbacks to Cuarón’s previous films (including one scene that brilliantly and cryptically alludes to Harry Potter, since Cuarón directed Prisoner of Azkaban). Like many of my favorite films, everything in this feels genuine and real, from the dialogue to the individual scenes to the performances by a cast of almost entirely unknowns (especially Yalitza Aparicio, who’s almost certainly bound for a Best Actress Oscar nomination). And on top of that, this film is beautifully photographed in black-and-white, with an amazing use of wide shots that look stunning on a large movie screen, and the sound design is so incredibly immersive that Cuarón really makes you feel like you are in Mexico City in 1971 without ever having to resort to the handheld camera that so many filmmakers rely on for the “immersive” style. All of this to say, Roma is a magnificent piece of filmmaking, and I absolutely hate that a lot of people will probably watch this on their smartphones. This is a film that demands to be seen on the biggest screen possible with the loudest sound possible, so if any of you reading this find an opportunity to experience Roma in a movie theatre rather than in your living room or God forbid on your smartphone, take it without thinking twice. (And, shameless plug, the Music Box Theatre in Chicago is doing 15 showings of it in 70mm starting Jan. 9 and concluding Jan. 13. For showtimes & advance tickets, go to https://bit.ly/2UIbz0h). If any movie released by Netflix deserves to be watched this way, Roma is unquestionably it. It is a remarkable cinematic triumph from one of the greatest filmmakers alive.

And...#1. Eighth Grade -- As you can see from the rest of my list, there have been many, many great and powerful films that have come out of 2018. And normally, when looking at that crop of films, it would be really difficult to pick out just one as being "the best" or even "the favorite". But ultimately, there was one singular cinematic achievement this year that hit me in a way that only a handful of movies ever have, and that is Bo Burnham's Eighth Grade. From the moment I saw this magnificent film at the Chicago Critics Film Festival in May, sitting next to my parents and one of my good friends, I knew this was a special film. Having been a bullied middle school student who turned to watching films and writing screenplays in order to work through my own loneliness and isolation, to see a film that perfectly encapsulates that experience and those feelings is something truly beautiful and all-too-rare and incredibly profound. And I can finally say, after all these of being haunted by my own middle school experience, that this is the most realistic portrayal of being a lonely, isolated middle school student that I've ever seen, and the competition isn't even close. What Bo Burnham has done with this film is something incredibly special and significant. He has made a film that can help those kids like me at 13 who feel like their not worth anything and that nobody likes them that their struggles are really universal. Even now at 21 there are times where I feel like I'm alone and that the whole world is against me, and Burnham himself even said that this movie is really a reflection of where he's at now, and that is really quite beautiful. But in addition to all of that, what also makes this movie incredibly significant is how it uses this micro perspective (that of the main girl, Kayla) to reflect on the entirety of Generation Z, the upcoming generation that has never known a world without the Internet. Texting and social media is almost religious for teenagers now, and the fact Burnham is able to beautifully show how we shouldn't be at all surprised by the level of anxiety teenagers and adults are constantly feeling now is something that is very important. As great as technology can be, it is also helping to aid our current mental health crisis in a way that needs to be addressed. And of course, let's not forget the actress who carries this entire movie on her shoulders: Miss Elsie Fisher herself. Oh my God, is she spectacular in this film. Her acting and Burnham's screenplay together make the character of Kayla the most three-dimensional, fully realized cinematic character of the year. And so much of the emotions she feels throughout the entirety of this film are conveyed on only her face in a way that is heartbreaking to anyone who has ever faced social rejection or is struggling with depression and/or anxiety (which I feel like should be most everyone reading this right now). 

I almost feel like I could write a whole book about this movie, but I'll just leave you with this: this is a beautiful, profound, moving, and special film that I would love to share with the entire world. I was lucky enough to get to see this a second time after the Chicago Critics Film Festival screening over the summer with my good friends Tim Clasquin and Claire Lostutter, and when we were traveling back from the theatre, I just kept quiet and let the two of them talk about how much the film impacted them and spoke to their own struggles. To see how it impacted them like it impacted me was really what validated my choice of this as the #1 movie of 2018. Thank you, Bo Burnham, for making us all feel not alone and for sharing this beautiful piece of art and poetry with the world. I cannot wait to see where you and Elsie Fisher go from here.

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And, for anyone who's curious, here's a list of 20 runners-up, i.e. films that are really, really good (and, in some cases, great) that just missed the cut for my top 20, listed in alphabetical order:

Annihilation

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs

Beautiful Boy

Black Panther

BlacKkKlansman

Bodied

Free Solo

Gosnell: The Trial of America’s Biggest Serial Killer

Hereditary

Isle of Dogs

Madeline’s Madeline

Minding the Gap

A Quiet Place

Ready Player One

Support the Girls

Suspiria

Three Identical Strangers

22 July

Vice

Wildlife

Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer

(NOTE: I first saw this movie at a special sneak-preview screening back in February in Arlington Heights, Illinois. I wrote my thoughts on it back then, but since the film is getting a theatrical release this weekend, I'm just sharing them now.)

As we get full-steam into Oscar season and people are rightfully lining up to see some of the year's best movies like First Man (which I hear is superb) and A Star is Born (which I know is superb), oftentimes there are much smaller films with smaller marketing budgets and theatrical releases that fly very under-the-radar. Such is the case with veteran character-actor Nick Searcy's second directorial effort Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer (his only other directorial effort, Carolina Low, made some waves in the mid-90s), which appropriately enough is based on a true story that flew very under the radar earlier this decade. For those who don't know, Kermit Gosnell is a former abortionist who operated an abortion facility in Philadelphia for over three decades, and in 2013 was convicted of first-degree murder in the deaths of three infants who were born alive during late-term abortions and involuntary manslaughter in the death of a woman during a botched abortion, although the 280-page grand jury report found that Gosnell had "routinely delivered babies alive, cut their necks with scissors, and stuffed their bodies in freezers and jars."

If you read that above sentence and are shocked that you had never heard of this story before, you have good reason to be. As this film shows a lot in its second-half, there was a large reluctance in the mainstream media to report on the Gosnell case, for really no other reason other than the fact that it was an "abortion doctor" on trial, and it didn't fit the narrative many people have of "safe and legal abortion," despite the fact that the abortions Dr. Gosnell performed were neither safe nor entirely legal (he was also convicted of 21 felony counts of illegal late-term abortion). But, contrary to what you might believe given the current climate, this film isn't interested in political grandstanding. At its core is a deeply compelling true-crime story that shows both Gosnell's horrific crimes and the general public's willful ignorance to them with almost-equal disgust but without really resorting to preaching, and it will leave you with much to think about regardless of your views on abortion.

The film opens like a typical police procedural, with Detective James Wood (played by Dean Cain) working with the DEA and the District Attorney's "Dangerous Drug-Offender Unit" on a drug-trafficking investigation in late 2009. Following reports of illegal prescription drug activity coming from Dr. Gosnell's facility, he and the rest of his assembled team quickly learn about Gosnell's disgustingly unsafe and unsanitary operation, with the nail in the coffin being that a woman named Karnamaya Mongar had recently died following a botched abortion and no police report was ever filed on it. With this, along with numerous other health and medical concerns, Wood and his assembled team raid Gosnell's facility and find a quite-literal house of horrors. In addition to blood-stained floors and cat feces lying around, perhaps the most haunting thing that the team finds on this raid is the remains of aborted babies, most aborted illegally after 24 weeks gestation, in bags, milk jugs, cat-food containers, or stuffed in freezers. In one particularly horrifying moment, the investigators find a row of jars containing severed feet from aborted babies, practically on display. And all of this is real, and is detailed quite graphically in the actual grand jury report of this case.

One of Gosnell's victims

Horrified and disgusted by Gosnell's practice, Wood successfully encourages Assistant District Attorney Lexy McGuire (played by Sarah Jane Morris) to pursue murder charges against Gosnell (played by Earl Billings). After a nearly year-long investigation, Gosnell, his wife, and other clinic employees are charged with murder and various other felonies. Once Gosnell pleads not guilty and enlists a ruthless attorney (played effectively by Nick Searcy himself) to defend him, the trial begins.

And this is where the film becomes particularly interesting and, in many ways, self-aware. Numerous people that McGuire comes across, including Philadelphia D.A. Dan Molinari (played by Michael Beach), attempt to dissuade her from taking up this case, saying that the pro-choice media will vilify her and that pro-life groups and lobbyists will attempt to use this case as an excuse to successfully work towards outlawing abortion. As the trial itself gets underway, we learn that Pennsylvania's former governor Tom Ridge (a pro-choice Republican) had specifically ordered inspections of all of the state's abortion facilities to cease due to fears of them creating "a barrier to women seeking abortion services." The judge in the case proceeds with caution for a similar reason, not wanting the trial to become about the legality of abortion.

But one of the most shocking things about the proceedings, as I hinted at above, is the almost complete lack of attention it got from the mainstream media. As McGuire and Wood and the D.A. are headed to the courtroom, they're preparing themselves to be swarmed by reporters, only to find empty rows of seats in the courtroom that had been reserved the press. Blogger Molly Mullaney (played in a small but memorable role by Cyrina Fiallo) at one point during the trial takes a picture of the empty press seats and tweets it, causing it to go viral which results in major reporters finally showing up as the trial draws to a close.

The empty rows of seats reserved for the press at Gosnell's trial

And in terms of recent true-crime movies that I've seen, this is definitely one of the most impressive of the lot, especially considering the low-budget, which admittedly can sometimes make it seem a bit like a TV-movie. But director Searcy, who's clearly learned from some of the top filmmakers working today (in addition to his role on the TV show Justified, he was in two of last year's major Oscar movies, The Shape of Water and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri), handles this material with great restraint and integrity, especially in regards to the performances. Searcy is very much an actor's director, and while there really aren't any name actors in this movie, he still manages to get impressive performances out of pretty much all of them.

Sarah Jane Morris, who effectively becomes the film's protagonist once she decides to pursue the charges against Gosnell, embodies her role convincingly and shows her character's struggle with the moral and ethical implications of this case in a subtle but deeply effective manner. Similarly, Dean Cain is well-suited for the role of a Philadelphia police detective and, despite a few forced acting moments, is pretty strong throughout, especially during the raid of Gosnell's clinic. His facial reactions to the horror inside the clinic are some of his particularly strong moments.

But perhaps the most haunting and powerful performance in the whole film is Earl Billings as Gosnell himself. The moments, especially early on, with him and the investigators are actually really unsettling. And having heard some tapes of Gosnell himself speaking, Billings definitely nailed the sociopathic aspects of his character and speech patterns down to a T. It's clear that Gosnell truly believes he did nothing wrong, and even as he's being criminally investigated and convicted, he still keeps a smile on his face and cracks jokes, which of course makes it easy for any actor to portray this character like a cliche villain, but Billings thankfully doesn't do that. In fact, he gives one of the most chilling villain performances I've seen all year.

Earl Billings as Kermit Gosnell

All of this is aided by a well-written screenplay from Andrew Klavan and husband-and-wife writing/producing duo Phelim McAleer and Ann McElhinney that sticks almost entirely to the facts of this story without making it an "agenda" film. And when it does sometimes get a little heavy-handed, especially when addressing the mainstream media's effective "blackout" of the Gosnell trial, it does it in a way that's unmistakably sincere and effective. Now, as I hinted at previously, there are times throughout the film where it can't really help but feel like a TV-movie or an extended episode of Law & Order, particularly during the trial scenes. And as with most films of this type, there are certain (mainly technical) things that probably could have been fixed with a bigger budget and more prep-time, but Searcy impressively manages to maneuver around most of them and ends up with a very impressively-made film as a result.

I know there's probably a lot of people who won't see this film for the simple reason that they think it's "anti-choice propaganda," especially given that the film was written, directed, and stars people who generally lean conservative and pro-life. And I will admit, going into this movie, I was worried that it wasn't going to be that good quality-wise (especially given that I had recently seen the painfully bad pro-life movie "Alison's Choice" on Amazon Prime), but Searcy and the whole team behind this movie really proved me wrong. This is a very impressive film about a deeply important story that should shock and enlighten everyone regardless of whether they're pro-life or pro-choice. 

And if this movie has a "message" outside of telling this true-crime story as it actually happened, it's this: preventing criminals like Kermit Gosnell from harming women and children is something that should unite everyone regardless of their stance on abortion or their political affiliation. For that alone, I would highly recommend that everybody seek this movie out.